Does God Speak to Us?

(Live in the Present. Do Not Worry.)

I have been there, my friend. I have no doubt God spoke to me today, and also that He wants me to share with you.

I woke up early this morning, March 20, 2019, the first day of Spring. I'm not sure of the exact order of my thoughts, but somewhere between sleep and awakening I thought about how I need to be living more in the Present. Since my husband died suddenly on March 27, 2017, I have had a lot of worries about the Future—concerns about finances, home, vehicles, moving or not, kids, etc. My kids are a major concern for me. I'm not used to being a single parent. My children are growing into adulthood. We are all trying to figure out what we're supposed to be doing now that our lives have changed so dramatically. I worry if I should be pushing them more, or less. I feel like I am constantly evaluating and reevaluating, which can lead to worry. (We have lived in Nebraska for 8 months now. Their dad's been gone almost two years now. Where are we supposed to be in this process of grieving, of recovery?)

On my way to the bathroom early this morning, I thought of the verse from Matthew 6 about seeking first God's kingdom and all these things will be added unto you. I know “all these things” refers to material things like food, clothing, and shelter. I had a little conversation with God about several things I am trying to do for His kingdom, things I believe He has asked me to do, and I am glad to do them. It is my joy. But none of them really make money. None of them takes care of our financial needs. I specifically mentioned the website, which is full of free Sunday school lessons and information, and makes very little money. I reminded God I was perfectly happy for everything to be free when my husband was alive and supporting our family financially. But now I'm kind of at a loss because I feel like I need to be making some money. I felt like God said, “Am I not providing for you and your children?” “Yes, God. We are okay right now. But what about the Future?”

My son actually reminded me the other day about God taking care of the flowers, trying to reassure me, since he knew I was worrying. Of course I told him I know that God has been and will continue to take care of us. I think I downplayed my son’s comments too much. God is obviously trying to speak to me. There's no imminent, immediate money emergency. I'm just looking out to the Future. I feel like God is telling me to quit doing that, to somehow enjoy where I am right now.

It has not been an enjoyable time. I have been in a very Wintry season for two and a half years.

The Matthew 6:31-34 song from Seeds Family Worship popped into my head and has been playing the rest of the morning. "...seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Repeat, repeat.)

I will admit it's very hard for me to find joy in the Present. But I take it from God that is what I am supposed to be doing right now (instead of desperately trying to figure out what we're supposed to do NEXT).

Today is the first day of Spring. Could it be Spring in my life also? I mean in my personal life. I can't see Spring.

Anyway, I went back to bed. I dozed and read awhile. Eventually, I got into my email, and my BibleGateway.com email was there with the link to my verses for today. I thought, Wouldn't it be amazing if today’s reading was Matthew 6:33. Haha. I clicked on the link and sure enough my reading for today is:

Seeds Family Worship